Straight out the ol' wazoo

My mum is in hospital. She's just had a hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy and inguinal lymphadenectomy.

If your eyes just glazed over, lol same.

Basically, she was diagnosed with endometrial cancer (used to known as uterine cancer) a few months ago, and they've just removed ALL of her reproductive organs, as well as some lymph nodes to boot.

Surgery went well and she's in recovery at the moment. Hopefully that's the end of it, and no further treatment will be required. 🤞

In typical Mum fashion, though, she was totally convinced she was coming out of the hospital today. She literally had the surgery yesterday and was telling me and my sister to pick her up at 10am today... lol.

"It'll be just like childbirth, right?" she said. "Like a C-section, or whatever. I'll be fine."

And look, I can see how she'd think that. A friend of my sister's had a hysterectomy at the same time as her last C-section.

But that friend was THIRTY YEARS YOUNGER than my mother is lol.

Also, my mum has never HAD a C-section. She had a standard delivery for all three of her children, straight out the ol' wazoo.

I can still remember when my brother was born. It was Christmas Day, 2001.

(Shit birthday. Sucks to be him.)

I woke up in the middle of the night to our front door opening. Mum was pacing the hallway.

"Mum?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. The last time she had been pacing the hallway like this in the middle of the night, the neighbour's house had caught on fire lol.

"Everything's fine, love. Your baby brother is coming," she said. "Grandma is here to look after you. I'll see you later."

Grandma climbed into bed with me and my sister... trying her hardest to get my sister to go the fuck back to sleep.

"Has Santa been yet?" she asked, over and over and OVER.

Finally, Grandma gave in and we got to open our presents. 🤗

Now it's been almost 25 years, so my memory of time has kinda warped, but I swear it wasn't long after we opened them that the (landline) phone rang.

"Your baby brother is here," said Grandma, after she hung up the phone. "We can head to the hospital after breakfast."

After that, it felt like minutes 'til we were at the hospital, meeting the cute baby boy who would eventually grow into my giant turd of a brother.

By 11am, we were at my Aunty Lorraine's house for Christmas lunch.

Yep, Mum too. Giving birth wasn't going to stop her lol.

Jack slept the entire day. And that evening HE DID NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP LOL.

It was about this point in my life that I decided I was never having kids...

(Then COVID happened, and as we were locked in our houses bored out of our minds, Steve and I thought having a kid would be a good idea. Guess who cried the entire evening SHE came home too? lol)

Anyway, there is no marketing insight tonight. I wanted to write something about marketing plans not going to plan... but Mum is ringing my (mobile) phone, and I think I'm gonna tell her that she's bloody awesome and I love her.

Cheers,
Cass